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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28724136">No more stupid jokes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tantaylor/pseuds/Tantaylor'>Tantaylor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Duran Duran</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Rough Kissing, Teasing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:35:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,469</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28724136</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tantaylor/pseuds/Tantaylor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick and Roger are laughing  a lot when they`re together. They always have to tease each other.<br/>Well, teasing is a sign of affection, they say....</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nick Rhodes/Roger Taylor (Duran Duran)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>No more stupid jokes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>English is not my mother tongue, no beta.</p><p>Please leave feedback</p><p>Thank you.</p><p> </p><p>Story takes place in 2010.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Simon yawned, not bothering to cover his mouth as he did.<br/>
Why were these two still so outrageously fit?</p><p>Roger's throaty laugh seemed to boom in the studio almost as much as his bass drum just a moment ago. </p><p>Ok, that made him smile.</p><p>Whatever had happened to Roger between 1987 and 2010, if it had led to this result, it couldn't be a bad thing.</p><p>A little more awake, Charlie turned his gaze to his two band mates, who were huddled together over the mixing desk.</p><p>Nick laughed.</p><p>They seemed to laugh a lot, the two of them.</p><p>Especially when they were together.</p><p> </p><p>The singer grinned. </p><p>Interesting thought.<br/>
It's just a pity that Roger had a boyfriend.<br/>
They would have made an exciting couple.</p><p>Simon shook his head slightly and swung his long legs off the studio sofa.</p><p>"I'm done for the day. The girls are waiting."</p><p>"Oh!" exclaimed Nick, looking stunned. "Is it really six already? Can you give me a lift, Charlie?"</p><p>"I'd love to, but I'm here on the bike and you hate the bike.”</p><p>“I'll drive you home, Nicholas. We can't have the wind ruffling your hair, can we?”<br/>
What the wind should not do, Roger did with his hand and Nick squealed in acted horror.</p><p>“Get your paw out of my hair, you country bumpkin!”</p><p>“Sissy!”</p><p>“Plonker!”</p><p>Simon left the studio chuckling.<br/>
They really would make a nice couple.</p><p>It took them a few minutes to notice that Charlie was no longer there, and Roger stretched his arms above his head to loosen his muscles.<br/>
There was a crunch somewhere in his neck.<br/>
"Ouch!"</p><p>"Shall we go too, old man, what do you think?” Nick grinned.</p><p>It didn't make much sense to stay here without Charlie and without John, who was in the States.<br/>
The drummer nodded.<br/>
“Yeah. I`m hungry.”<br/>
“Looks like we completely lost track of time. Just like back then. Isn't that great?”<br/>
“It's not like back then, Nick. It's better. Much better. Do you fancy some spaghetti? Not to toot my own horn, but my Napoli sauce is divine.”<br/>
“You're not that limber anyway.”</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>“To toot your own horn. Surely Neil will take care of that. And speaking of Neil, I don't think he'll be thrilled when you invite me over for dinner.”</p><p>“Neil's not here.”</p><p>“Another business trip?”</p><p>“Nope. A break-up.”</p><p>“What? Nooo! I`m sorry!”</p><p>“Come on, you're not sorry. You don't like him.”</p><p>“Not him, but you, Roger! What happened?”</p><p>“He fucked his secretary. And the last business trip was a trip to the Caribbean. With him. And this little fucker called me. Wanted me to let Neil go, what I did. So, no Neil ever again.”</p><p>“I never liked him. He`s a poser.”</p><p>“Funny, he said the same about you.”</p><p>“Fucking asshole!”</p><p>“Yes, he particularly liked that. And now he's fucking some pimply twenty-something's asshole. I don't want to talk about Neil any more. Are you coming to my place or should I drop you off at home? “<br/>
“Your place. Do you have wine? You need wine with spaghetti.”</p><p>“Snob! Of course I have wine. Do you think I only drink canned beer or what?”</p><p> </p><p>Roger unlocked the flat door and let Nick go first.</p><p>"After you, sir.”</p><p>“Thank you, very kind. Do you know that I've never been here before?"</p><p>"I am aware of that and I would like to emphasise that it is not my fault. I have invited you many times, but you always had some flimsy excuse.”</p><p>“Ten minutes in a room with Mister Super Asshole and blood would have been spilled. Figuratively spoken, because I certainly don't want any of that man's bodily fluids on me. I'm not going to mess up my clothes because of him.”</p><p>“I didn't realise how much you hated him.”<br/>
“Oh, in the beginning I just didn't like him.” Nick followed Roger into the kitchen.” I really tried to get along with him because you are my friend and because I like you very much. But Neil obviously thought I liked you too much. Do you remember the tour end party? “</p><p>“I sure do!” Roger smiled while he put on a large pot of water. “What a party it was! Open the wine already, please, will you? Wine rack next to the balcony door, corkscrew in the drawer to the left.”<br/>
Nick was silent while he opened the bottle, then he asked:<br/>
"Glasses are where?"</p><p>"I'll get them in a minute. Sit down. So, what happened at the party?"</p><p>“He followed me to the bathroom and insinuated that we were having sex. Because, and I quote, it would be completely obvious that there's something going on between us. I said, oh yeah sure Neil, we fucked our brains out after every show. Let me tell you something, Roger, your ex-boyfriend has absolutely no sense of irony.”<br/>
Roger made a choking sound and Nick thought for a terrible moment he was going to start crying.</p><p>That would be understandable, wouldn't it? They had been a couple for so long and...</p><p>But he laughed. Roger laughed. Loudly and from the bottom of his heart.</p><p>“If it's the idea of you and I having sex that makes you laugh, I'd actually be a little offended,” Nick snorted.</p><p>“This is so ridiculous that you can only laugh at it!”</p><p>“The idea that we have sex?”</p><p>"No. That the idiot who cheated on me for months with that pimply wimp has the gall to suggest we're having an affair.”</p><p>“Well, anyone who prefers a pimply wimp to you definitely has at least one screw loose.”</p><p>“Are you hitting on me now, Rhodes?” Roger winked, still laughing.</p><p>“It's worth a try, after all, you're available again.” Nick winked back.</p><p>He ignored the strange little flutter in his stomach.</p><p>They were just kidding, weren't they?</p><p>“Ha! Wait until you've tasted my sauce! You`ll never let me go again!”</p><p>"Are we talking about the spaghetti sauce or is that a call to toot your horn?”</p><p>Roger opened his mouth and Nick expected a biting remark, but instead he closed his lips again. He didn't grin, he didn't laugh, he just stared, an expression of incredulous amazement on his face.<br/>
A soft blush crept up his neck.</p><p>Then he abruptly turned his back on Nick and seemed to want to boil the water in the big pot by sheer force of will.</p><p>"It might help to turn on the hotplate," Nick said, astonished at how raspy his voice sounded.<br/>
What the bloody fuck was going on here? </p><p>“Probably so,” Roger mumbled, but didn`t move the slightest bit.<br/>
Why the hell did Roger suddenly seem magnetic? </p><p>There was no other way to explain why Nick stood up and closed the short distance between them, why his hands were on Roger's hips and his breath swept over the blushed neck.<br/>
His heartbeat quickened as Roger turned and they stood nose to nose.<br/>
Miraculously, Nick's hands slid from Roger's hips to his ass.</p><p>"Neil's an asshole," he said in that strange husky voice.</p><p>"I totally agree."<br/>
Roger's firm buttocks pressed into his hands.</p><p> </p><p>"Be glad you're rid of him. Arrogant poser."</p><p>"Uh-huh"<br/>
And then their lips met. Only very briefly at first.</p><p>Both looked at each other, distraught. </p><p>Whatever it was, they should talk about it, they couldn't just...</p><p>Roger grabbed Nick by the back of the neck and this time their mouths clashed together, their teeth chattering.</p><p>"You drummers are a bit rough, aren't you?" Nick gasped into his mouth.</p><p>"And you keyboard players are squeamish."</p><p>"Oh yeah? "Nick bit Roger's lower lip and sucked on it.<br/>
"Uhn," Roger yelped.</p><p>"Who's squeamish, huh?"</p><p> The drummer grabbed Nick by the collar, fabric ripped, and hot lips closed around a nipple.<br/>
Nick`s mind went all blank.<br/>
“Take your shirt off, caveman. I don't think I can rip it.”</p><p>“Caveman? Nice one! Do you want me to throw you over my shoulder, drag you into my bedroom and fuck you through the mattress?”<br/>
What they did was not kissing, it was more like they were eating each other, with tongue and teeth.</p><p>"Oh, I'd rather not," Nick gasped as they caught their breath. “You could, however, throw me over your shoulder, drag me into your bedroom and let me fuck <em>you</em> through the mattress.”</p><p>“Fine!” Roger growled.<br/>
He actually did it, threw Nick over his shoulder like a sack of flour, and only seconds later the keyboard player landed on said mattress.<br/>
Roger was immediately on top of him, attacking him with kisses and bites, which Nick was only too happy to return.<br/>
“Too…many…clothes,” Roger moaned desperately between hot love bites.</p><p>They were hopelessly tied in knots, a tangle of arms and legs, lips and hands.</p><p>Nick was the first to start laughing.</p><p>"I know now why they call that crazy drummer from the Muppet Show the Animal.”</p><p>“Shut up, Waldorf!”<br/>
Somehow Roger managed to free himself and got up from the bed.</p><p>He did look a bit wild, his hair mussed, his lips swollen and a necklace of hickeys around his neck.</p><p>"Don't you run away from me!" said Nick, only half joking, because he was suddenly afraid that he would do just that.</p><p>"This is my flat. Where do you think I should run?"<br/>
No, Roger did not run away. Roger started to undress.<br/>
Nick's mouth went dry, his hard cock pressed painfully against the zipper, throbbing in rhythm with his heart. And it was a damn fast rhythm.<br/>
Neil was not only an asshole, he also seemed to be blind!</p><p>How could anyone leave this gorgeous man for a dull twink?</p><p>But then, he had been blind, too, huh?</p><p>“Fuck, you're ..Roger!"</p><p>" Um, yes, that's who I am.”</p><p>“You are stunning! Get your cute ass back in bed, but quick! “</p><p>“You're still wearing too much, Nick. Do you need help with that?”<br/>
Nick slid to the edge of the bed and sat up. He felt a little dizzy as he bent down for his shoes.<br/>
"Wait, I'll do it."</p><p>A naked drummer knelt in front of him and relieved him of his shoes and socks, then calloused hands pushed the remnants of the shirt off his shoulders.<br/>
Again, hot, wet lips closed around his nipple and sucked devotedly as those hands undid his belt.<br/>
A button would be undone, the zipper pulled down, and Nick groaned in relief as his throbbing cock was given more room.</p><p>He lifted his hips, letting Roger pull down his trousers and toss them aside.</p><p>Pre- cum beaded from the slit of his twitching member , the mushroomed head pushing out from under his brief`s waistband.<br/>
Roger snapped his finger against it.</p><p>“Ouch! What was that for?”</p><p>“Drummer from the Muppet Show, my arse, Waldorf!”<br/>
“Your arse is fantastic, YOU are fantastic!” Nick grabbed a good handful of Roger`s hair, pulling him close for a deep, longing kiss.<br/>
“No more stupid jokes now, my beautiful!” he panted as he broke the erotic connection.<br/>
Roger nodded; eyes dark with lust.<br/>
“Fuck me, Nick Rhodes.”<br/>
There was nothing stupid about that. </p><p>“Please, Roger, tell me you have condoms! Because I don't have any.”</p><p>Roger stood up on slightly shaky legs and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair.<br/>
"Damn! I've got lube, but no condoms. Stop, wait! It could be..."</p><p>He turned around and disappeared like a flash into the adjacent bathroom.</p><p>Even though Nick was an atheist,  he sent a quick prayer to every available god that may existed.<br/>
There was nothing in the world he wanted as much as to fuck his drummer, to bury himself deep in that divine ass.<br/>
He laughed out loud with joy as Roger came back with a strip of condoms and a single pack of lube.<br/>
“Oh, thank goodness!” Impatiently, he got rid of his annoying briefs and crawled into the middle of the bed. “C`mere! On your back. I want to see your face when I fuck you.”<br/>
Roger did as he was told and Nick enjoyed the wonderful sight for a moment, letting his hand wander over Roger's chest, over his taut belly and finally gently enclosed the hard, velvety shaft.<br/>
Oh, he just had to taste the clear, salty essence that ran down that glorious cock.<br/>
It was delicious, but Roger's soft whimper was almost more delicious.</p><p>He looked at Nick out of lust-veiled eyes, his breath fast and ragged.<br/>
"You are so beautiful when you are horny, Roger, so beautiful!"</p><p>There was nothing joking, nothing teasing, nothing ironic in his words, it was simply the truth.</p><p>He opened the small sachet of lubricant and spread about half of the contents on his fingers.<br/>
Roger moaned softly, gripped the back of his knees and pulled his legs to his chest.<br/>
There was no shame, only utter need in his gaze.<br/>
“Greedy and wanton. I think that's how I like you best,” the keyboardist growled.<br/>
Gently, he ran a slippery finger over the wrinkled skin of the tightly closed hole, pressing against it without penetrating.<br/>
He wanted to enjoy this moment, to delay fucking, because he knew he wouldn't be able to control himself for long once he was all the way in the hot, tight channel.<br/>
The small ring of muscle seemed to want to reach for his finger, to lure it inside and Nick watched in fascination as it twitched, as if to call out to him.<br/>
Slowly he opened him, widened him, first with one finger, then with two.<br/>
“Please! Please, Nick, I'm ready, fuck me, fuck me hard,” Roger shouted in despair. With quick violent thrusts of his hips he fucked himself on Nick's fingers, moaning and screaming and sweating and so, so beautiful.<br/>
As the tip of Nick's latex- cladded cock kissed the entrance to paradise, Roger grabbed his hips hard enough to leave bruises and impaled himself with one single move.<br/>
At three in the morning they sat naked in the kitchen and fed each other spaghetti, licking the truly delicious sauce off their bodies.<br/>
They emptied the bottle of wine and a second, fucked until there were no more condoms and fell asleep at dawn, a knot of arms and legs.</p><p> </p><p>A week later, JT stormed into the studio, almost running into Charlie, who was just about to get coffee.<br/>
“Is that true, Simon, or was Nick kidding me?”</p><p>“Well, hello John, good to have you back.”</p><p>“Cut the crap, Charlie! Is it true?”</p><p>"Is what true?" Simon asked innocently.</p><p>"Simon!"</p><p>"Go and see for yourself. They're quite lovely. I just keep getting sent to fetch coffee. They don't seem to be sleeping much lately,” the singer winked.<br/>
They grinned at each other.<br/>
"Ha! So I was right!” John chuckled. “Teasing indeed  <em>is</em> a sign of affection!”</p>
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